Thursday, April 17, 2008

a few notes on hygiene

i have recently noticed that a large number of the men with whom i regularly associate have a fairly poor concept of basic hygiene skills. of course, many of my friends take excellent care of themselves, too, but in an effort to alert some of you who may fall into the first category, i wanted to clandestinely offer some suggestions.

first and foremost: tweezing
i know you think eyebrows and tweezing are buried deep within the realm of the feminine.

they are not.

you are no more allowed to have a unibrow than we are. it's unattractive and distracting when there are stray hairs between your brows, no matter how many or few. i'm not sure how much else i need to say about this.

as far as i know, there is not a woman in the world who would like you LESS for tweezing. granted, you may feel a little weird tweezing in front of others, or talking about your tweezing habits. that's fine. but you should still do it.

DO. NOT. SHAVE IT. tweeze.

get a GOOD pair of tweezers. tweezerman is regularly rated the highest for this sort of task, and they come in a variety of colors for about $20. if you get cheaper tweezers, your job will be harder and slightly more painful.

you likely don't need to tweeze anything around the brow itself, just between. if you really feel like you have some crazy outliers, go for it, but be cautious; it's easy to be overzealous here. however, those few you take out in the middle (even if it's literally just two) will make a WORLD of difference...and it really doesn't hurt much at all.

second: skin care

a few strong suggestions here. if you have blackheads, use either a special face wash (any recommendations? i don't use any) or biore deep cleansing pore strips. the latter is WAY fun, because you wet your nose, stick this thing on for 10 minutes, and yank it off when it feels like papier mache. then, you get to stare at all the gunk that got pulled out of your nose. pretty sweet, right? plus, who doesn't love putting wet paper on their face and then feeling it get super stiff? i'm not kidding.

if you have more serious blemish problems, please just take the time to meet with a skin care specialist; if you have a school dermatologist or great insurance, it might really be worth the visit. i don't mean to sound petty here, but it will help unbelievably if you take care of your skin, not just in terms of superficial attractiveness: self-confidence, work opportunities, preventing serious scarring in the future, decreased toxins all over the place. acutane works absolute wonders if you're willing to get regular blood tests.

other than that:
floss. floss floss floss floss floss. i swear by woven floss, since i hate the other kind (it hurts my gums!)...try reach gentle gum care or their new cleanpaste stuff.

listerine is also a good idea. vanilla mint is really, really good.

regular showering is a no-brainer, but think about also using a loofah or some other scrubby thing to get rid of dead skin cells. you will be soft and delicious. also, deodorant. always. no questions. if you have poofy hair, use biosilk; nothing else compares in any way. um, trim your nails. try getting an orange stick or cuticle pusher if you have bad/gross cuticles (the white part at the base of your nails). shave well. these are the easy ones.

for more serious concerns, like teeth whitening, spots on your teeth, moles, etc., check with a doctor...there are a lot of cheap and painless options for things that you may not even know about. i just want to give you the easy fixes...the quick things you can get that will, perhaps, make you a little prettier.

oh, and if you have trouble breathing or like sniffing things, these inhalation beads are the greatest things EVER (i use the sinus ones). totally clears up your breathing and smells REALLY good (peppermint, eucalyptus and lemongrass), but isn't all medicinal like vicks inhalers. also, if you use bar soap, think about getting a massage has nubs on it and feels really good when you shower. :) you can find them at the local drugstore, usually in yummy scents like milk and honey.

okay. i'm done. sorry if anyone is offended.

this message not brought to you by CVS. i swear.


Ian said...

Men also need a daily face wash, to trim their fingernails and toenails regularly, and some other things I will post about in my own blogspace in a short period of time.

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