Friday, December 7, 2007

unexpected...

i had a very strange experience yesterday. i'm hesitant to even write about it, for fear some people will take it the wrong way, but...eh. my blog! i do what i want.

anyway, yesterday one of our classmates flew home to be with her father as he underwent heart surgery. she had asked if she could videochat with me from the ICU during class time so she wouldn't miss the review (second time we've done that this semester! macs are so awesome). what was strange, though, was that on arriving to class, i did something very out of character for me (VERY out of character, if you know me at all). i asked my professor if we could start the class with a prayer for our classmate's father (and family as a whole). of course, he agreed, and said a really beautiful prayer as we all sat down together.

now, i'm not a christian. i never have been. i don't have the patience to meditate, and have never had the inclination to pray. i tend to get annoyed when people try to force me to pray on command. but, yesterday, it was important. and it felt right.

don't get me wrong, i'm not converting, i didn't necessarily feel a connection with a higher power or anything like that. i'm not an atheist, but i'm agnostic until i feel strongly otherwise (and if you want to know more about that, feel free to ask). when asked who i was praying TO, i realized that i wasn't in fact asking for guidance from some external, omniscient being. for me, it was about the shared act of, all together, recognizing the importance of a situation, and channeling our love and thoughts and feelings towards that. it was a communal act, for me, more than one of asking for guidance or assistance from above.

nevertheless, it was important, and it felt good.

strange, for me, definitely unexpected...i'm sure my professor, who once had to reply to an email from me asking "just HOW christian is pepperdine, i don't do the whole prayer thing", could probably have been knocked over with a feather. ah well. guess times change.

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